SPECIAL FRIEND — FINE WINE

You’re the sort of mate everyone needs. Mainly because standing next to you makes the rest of us look considerably more successful. You’ve reached that glorious stage of life where your back hurts for no reason, you make a noise every time you stand up, and a decent shit can genuinely improve your entire day. Your wardrobe consists of clothes you’ve owned since Top Gear had the original three presenters, your idea of exercise is carrying all the shopping in one trip, and you still think sucking your stomach in when a woman walks past is fooling anybody. You’re ageing like a fine wine. One that’s been opened, left next to a radiator and had a fly floating in it since Tuesday. Love you mate. x