SPECIAL FRIEND – WHEELIE BIN

There aren’t many people I’d happily waste an entire evening talking absolute bollocks with, and unfortunately you’re one of them. You’ve got the emotional range of a wheelie bin, the dress sense of a recently divorced PE teacher and a body that now makes noises normally associated with an old house settling. Half your stories aren’t true, the other half happened twenty years ago, and you’ve been telling all of them so long you genuinely believe you’re interesting. Still, underneath the expanding waistline, questionable opinions and increasingly aggressive nose hair, there’s a genuinely decent bloke. Probably. Love ya mate x