OLDER BROTHER

Happy birthday to the smug bastard who got here first and has treated that minor administrative detail like a lifetime achievement. You spent my childhood making up rules, blaming me for everything and passing down clothes that had already lost the will to live. You call it ‘showing me the way.’ I call it Mum and Dad making all their parenting mistakes on you first. Being older doesn’t make you wiser. It just means your knees started clicking sooner and your search history contains more questions beginning with ‘Is it normal at my age…?’ Still, you taught me some valuable lessons: never lend you money, never believe ‘Mum said it’s fine,’ and always let you try the stupid idea first. You’re not my role model. You’re the warning label. Love ya bro x