DAD

Happy birthday to the man who taught me everything I know, yet regularly spends twenty minutes looking for the glasses already sitting on his head. You’ve reached the age where the thermostat has become your personality, a trip to the tip counts as a day out, and every conversation eventually becomes a detailed explanation of the best route to somewhere nobody is visiting. You can fall asleep in any chair, tell the same story with the same incorrect details, and turn a five-minute job into three separate trips to Screwfix. Still, beneath the questionable advice, selective hearing and determination to keep every cable you’ve owned since 1987, you’re a brilliant dad. I wouldn’t swap you. Mainly because nobody else would take you. Love you, Dad x