HUSBAND – CUPBOARDS & DISHWASHER

Happy birthday to the man who promised me love, loyalty and partnership, then proceeded to leave every cupboard door open for the rest of his natural life. Marriage to you means finding socks beside the laundry basket, replacing empty toilet rolls and hearing ‘I was going to do that’ immediately after I’ve done it. You can detect a discounted power tool from three miles away but remain completely unable to see an overflowing bin. You believe loading the dishwasher is a complex engineering discipline that only you truly understand, despite all available evidence suggesting otherwise. Still, you’re my favourite person to annoy and the best questionable decision I ever made. Happy birthday, you magnificent pain in the arse. Love you, Husband x