STEPSON

Happy birthday to the lad who inherited absolutely none of my genes but somehow managed to acquire several of my worst habits, which feels legally suspicious. I didn’t give you life, but I’ve provided lifts, advice, money, food and repeated explanations of things you could easily have searched for yourself. I’ve watched you make decisions I specifically warned you against, then listened patiently while you explained why the entirely predictable consequences weren’t technically your fault. You’ve taught me that family isn’t about sharing DNA. It’s about taking the piss, turning up when it matters and pretending not to notice who finished the last of the food. I may not have made you, but I’m incredibly proud of the man you’ve become. Love you, Stepson x