GRANDSON

Happy birthday to the young man who arrived and immediately became the family favourite without completing an application, attending an interview or demonstrating any useful qualifications. You’ve grown from a small, noisy child into a considerably larger, more expensive one with stronger opinions and permanent access to the internet. You know everything about phones, gaming and avoiding household jobs, but remain strangely confused whenever a plate needs carrying into the kitchen. I spent years building this family’s reputation. You’ve managed to undo most of that with one haircut and several photographs online. Still, you’re funny, kind and a genuinely brilliant grandson. Just don’t let the praise go to your head. There’s already enough happening up there. Love you, Grandson x