UNCLE

Happy birthday to the family’s officially appointed bad influence. You taught me several valuable life skills: how to swear quietly, how to hide evidence and why ‘Don’t tell your mum’ usually means something has gone catastrophically wrong. Every family needs a responsible adult, and thankfully nobody has ever made the mistake of confusing you with one. You arrive at gatherings with inappropriate jokes, questionable advice and the confidence of a man who has never once allowed facts to interfere with a good story. Still, you’ve always made me laugh, looked out for me and proved that growing older is compulsory but growing up is apparently optional. Happy birthday to an absolutely brilliant uncle and a truly terrible example. Love you, Uncle x