BROTHER-IN-LAW

Happy birthday to the man our family acquired through marriage without anybody being given the opportunity to check the reviews first. You’ve mastered family gatherings: arrive slightly late, drink the decent beer, offer several strong opinions and disappear at precisely the moment the washing-up begins. You’re always available with advice, particularly when you have absolutely no relevant experience and nobody has asked for it. Technically, we’re not related by blood. However, you’re irritating, competitive and strangely comfortable helping yourself to my food, so the brother part feels disturbingly authentic. You may have joined this family accidentally, but you fit into the chaos perfectly. Happy birthday to a genuinely brilliant Brother-in-Law. You poor bastard x