HUSBAND – SNORING & FLAT-PACK

Happy birthday to the man I married for better or worse, only to discover that ‘worse’ includes snoring like a damaged tractor, turning every cold into a farewell tour and asking where something is before making any attempt to look for it. You approach flat-pack furniture with enormous confidence, no instructions and language normally heard during pub fights. Marriage has taught me the importance of compromise. I decide what needs doing, and then compromise by waiting six weeks for you to do it. Still, you’re funny, loyal and the only person I’d willingly share my home, bed and remaining patience with. If I had to choose again, I’d still choose you. I’d just read the terms and conditions first. Love you, Husband x