TEENAGE DAUGHTER

Happy birthday to the girl who knows everything despite having attended remarkably few meetings about how the world actually works. You can operate six social-media accounts simultaneously but remain completely defeated by an empty toilet roll. You require lifts, money, food, privacy and uninterrupted Wi-Fi while contributing several cups to your bedroom and one exhausted sigh whenever help is requested. Every conversation is apparently embarrassing, every photograph requires approval and every piece of advice becomes sensible only after somebody on the internet repeats it. Still, beneath the eye-rolling, disappearing chargers and permanently closed bedroom door, you’re funny, kind and becoming an incredible young woman. Please don’t let that praise affect your attitude. It’s already operating at full capacity. Love you—even when the Wi-Fi goes off x