WIFE 1

Happy birthday to the woman I married knowing she was intelligent, beautiful and funny, but not fully appreciating that she would also remember every stupid thing I ever said. You can detect that something has been moved by approximately three millimetres, ask “What’s wrong?” until something becomes wrong and begin tidying around me as a legally recognised warning. Marriage has taught me compromise: you explain what we’re doing, I offer an alternative and then we do what you originally suggested. You know my faults, habits and complete inability to find anything without assistance, yet you continue keeping me around. Either that’s true love or you simply can’t face training another one. Love you, Wife. Thanks for renewing my contract x