STEPMUM

Happy birthday to the woman who joined our family without being shown the full job description, hidden costs or extensive history of unreasonable behaviour. You didn’t have to take on the worrying, listening, organising and occasional refereeing, but somehow you did it anyway. You’ve mastered the delicate art of offering advice without starting a diplomatic incident and attending family occasions while pretending everything is completely normal. You may not have been there from the beginning, but you’ve been present for everything that mattered since—and that’s what makes somebody family. Thank you for choosing us even after discovering what the position actually involved. Love you, Stepmum. There’s still no escape x