AUNTIE

Happy birthday to the family’s officially appointed bad influence. You taught me several valuable life skills: how to swear quietly, hide evidence and recognise when “Don’t tell your mum” means something has gone catastrophically wrong. Every family needs a responsible adult, and thankfully nobody has ever confused you with one. You arrive at gatherings carrying gossip, inappropriate comments and the confidence of somebody who has never allowed facts to interfere with a good story. Still, you’ve always made me laugh, looked out for me and proved that growing older is compulsory while behaving appropriately remains entirely optional. Happy birthday to a brilliant auntie and terrible example x