WORK WIFE

Happy birthday to my work wife—the woman who knows exactly how little work is happening whenever I stare thoughtfully at the screen. You’ve survived my complaints, covered my mistakes and received countless messages beginning with “Have you seen this shit?” We communicate through facial expressions during meetings and can conduct a complete character assessment before somebody has finished introducing themselves. You know when I need encouragement, caffeine or five minutes outside before I say something career-limiting. The job may pay the wages, but having somebody to share the gossip, frustration and emergency snacks makes it considerably more bearable. Human Resources would probably describe our relationship differently. Happy birthday. See you in the disciplinary meeting x