YOU'RE LEAVING US

So you're leaving. After everything we've done for you, including pretending your microphone problems weren't the highlight of the meeting. Someone else will have to explain the printer now, and by explain we mean turn it off while swearing quietly. We're already dividing up your stationery with the dignity and restraint you'd expect from people who've spotted an unattended stapler. Your replacement will probably be efficient, punctual and deeply unsettling. We'll have to teach them that asking a quick question at five to five is a serious breach of civilisation. For all the nonsense, you've made the difficult days easier and the ordinary days much funnier. We're going to miss you terribly. Go and be brilliant somewhere else, you absolute nuisance. Roast with love x